


What my heart once knew

by LilleyBelle



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Forgotten Memories, ME that's who, Rediscovering feelings, buckyxwanda, haven't seen IW so don't expect this to follow that truly, kinda winging this, old love/new love, past and present fic, winterwitch - Freeform, yeah I know who hasn't seen IW
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-02-17 00:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilleyBelle/pseuds/LilleyBelle
Summary: "We knew each other." He breathed out."I think it was something more..."





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so Merry Christmas everyone! I've been out of it for a while but I'm back and aside from celebrating and enjoying this wonderful time of the year with my lovely family, I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things with my writing. I truly love to write and its darkened a little piece of my soul to not be able to do it for so long! So with that said, I hope you enjoy and review! Let me know what you think. This was an idea that my friend Anna gave to me and I hope it not only pleases her but tells a wonderful story with some of our favorite characters!
> 
> On with the show...

She’d seen his picture before. Not the ones on the news or spread across the internet, but a real, true to life image of him that Steve had shown her one time. Of course she’d thought Steve’s oldest and best friend was handsome-a playful gleam in his eyes and a charming smile with his hair slicked back like many of the men of that time did. So when she had found Steve reminiscing one night and he’d shown her the photo she couldn’t shake the initial thought that he was a very attractive man.  
Now though, as she stood here across the parking garage of an airport in Germany she couldn’t help but be struck again by his appearance. This was the same man that Steve had shown her. The same man that was all clean cut with a boyish charm. However, as she stood taking him in from where he remained on the other side of that ridiculously tiny car she couldn’t help but think he had a bit of a roguish look to him. His stubble covered face looked rough and hard, his eyes deeply set, their focus intense and powerful. And that smile was replaced by a blank expression, his lips pressed into a thin, hard line. She could sense his anxiety, his on edge behavior rolling off of him in waves. Yet through it all she still found him striking. If anything she thought she maybe preferred this look. Gone was the young man that still held that youthful fire. No this was a man-steady and strong, protective and powerful. Yes, this was a man indeed.  
“Buck get over here.” Steve called, breaking her silent reflection. She watched as he moved around the vehicle and made his way toward where the other men stood. The Lang man couldn’t seem to help himself as he over enthusiastically shook his hand also, while Clint just nodded his head in a silent greeting which she thought the soldier appreciated greatly.  
She felt her heart begin to race as Steve turned in her direction and moved toward where she stood, a little further from the main group. As she looked past her Captain she noticed that the soldier was following him too, eyes blank as if he was just going through the motions.  
“Wanda this is my friend Bucky. Buck,” He said turning to the silent man beside him. “This is Wanda Maximoff.”  
Steve stepped aside, his attention drawn to Sam as the other man called out to him. “Let me check this out.” Steve said, excusing himself politely like the gentleman he was.  
Wanda eyed the man before her cautiously. She knew about his past-or at least what Steve had mentioned. She knew what it was like to be a plaything for someone else. She understood the loneliness, the constant fear and worry that kept you looking over your shoulder. After all, it hadn’t been that long ago she’d been in a similar position to him. Extending her hand out in front of her she waited patiently for him to accept the gesture, knowing that the physical contact probably both excited and terrified him.  
Finally, as if he was slowly emerging from a deep sleep his hand moved up to gently grasp her own, his blue eyes gazing into her green ones the empty expression slowly falling away, as if he was seeing her for the first time since she emerged from the van some while ago. His darkened expression lightened and there was a shine to his brilliant blue eyes as he gripped her hand a bit more firmly, obviously warming to her touch a bit more.  
Wanda couldn’t put her finger on it but the minute his hand slipped into hers she felt a spark rush through her body, setting every nerve on fire, putting her senses on high alert. She didn’t know what it was but when she looked in his eyes she didn’t see the cold shell of a man that had been before her only seconds ago. Now she saw someone waking up, someone coming back to life-a realization beginning to form in her mind but about what she was unsure.  
“Have we-“ he began, eyes squinting, smile a bit wistful. He slid his thumb along the soft skin he now held with a tenderness.  
“I do not think-“ Wanda started, knowing in good faith and mind that she had never laid eyes on this man before, when suddenly her vision was clouded with something not in front of her but inside of her-a memory playing on a loop, running through her mind-a memory she didn’t know she had until right then.  
~~~~~~~~~~ The base was cold during the winter but there was nothing warmer than the body standing next to him in this moment. The cold air surrounding them on the balcony of the base was pushed away, whether by her power or her presence he wasn’t sure. Laying his hand on the stone of the rail he was struck by the gentle touch of her own coming to rest so very closely next to his.  
~~~~~~~~~~ Quickly, as if lightening had struck her she pulled away, jumping back a bit from the contact and the vision it had provoked. Catching her breath she looked back to where Bucky stood, looking just as shocked as she felt. Had he seen the same thing?  
“What just happened?” He asked, lowly, not wanting anyone else to hear about the odd little exchange that had just occurred.  
“I…I..I’ don’t know. Did you-“ She stuttered out, heart still pounding.  
“Yeah. I…don’t remember-“  
“Me either.” She interrupted. “I don’t know what that means.”  
She held his gaze for a long moment. Both confused and unsure of what that little piece of a memory meant or where it had even come from. She couldn’t understand the sudden need to reach out to him-the desire to hold him and as she looked at him she didn’t think he knew either. All she did know was that her feet were now moving of their own free will and she was helpless to stop them as they moved closer to the man she’d just been face to face with. She glanced to his hands at his sides and noticed the nervous twitch; as if he were holding himself back from reaching out for something-reaching out for her.  
She’d almost made it to him when the alarms went off startling their entire group, but nobody more than the two of them. They’d been in their own world for the last little while, trying to absorb and make sense of what they had seen, what they had felt.  
Both of them moved instinctually toward the rest of the group. It didn’t go unnoticed by Wanda that his hand went to the small of her back as he ushered her over to Steve and the rest of the team, as if he were protecting her. She felt the loss of the warmth his hand provided immediately but tried her best to push it down and away as they had a mission to accomplish. She didn’t know how she’d be able to do anything with all that had transpired on her mind. One last glance at the man beside her though had her resigning herself to do her job-the look in his blue eyes letting her know that this wasn’t over, not even close.


	2. 2.

It wasn’t until later-much later, that they found the time to test the waters of their new found shared memories. After days spent locked up in that cell and confined in the manner she’d been held in she hadn’t really been too keen on conversation with anyone, even the handsome soldier that eyed her cautiously, knowing and remembering from his own experiences of being caged like an animal. He’d given her time, provided her space. He knew when she was ready she’d come to him.

Patience was something he’d learned. It was now something he’d practice too.

The night that she chanced a break from her room in the safe house provided to them she didn’t question the direction her feet padded softly in. Her mind called out to him just as his did to her. From that first touch weeks ago in the garage she’d been unable to completely shut him out. The pressure to remember him, to remember that part of her life along with the stress and turmoil they’d suffered recently had only set her back further in her recovery.

Bare feet moved silently across the wooden floors, the only sound alerting him of her presence a small creak on the bottom step leading into the empty family room.

He turned to her, face blank and silent as her footsteps had been, watching her, long hair twisted and wavy, wild and free, much like he sensed she longed to be.

“She always wanted that.” He thought to himself.

“How did you know that?” Her accent is thick and spreads through the still air in the room, hitting him just as forcefully as her scarlet that flares from her fingertips during an attack. He knows she would never use it against him.

How he knows he’s unsure, but he knows. He turns empty eyes to her, his words are failing him. Thankfully his ability to communicate hasn’t completely gone to shit though as she seems to understand what he wants to say.

“You do not know, do you?”

He looks away from her, eyes on the framed watercolor hanging on the wall behind her. He takes in the painting, a pretty scene somewhere far from his imagination, even further from his reality. He watches that spot on the wall with the silver flecked frame and pretends that she’s not moving toward him, not yearning to connect or reconnect with him as badly as he wants to with her. There’s so much he doesn’t understand. There’s so much he’s not sure he ever wants to. But as he gathers up his courage and fixes his eyes on the witch before him he can’t stop himself from reaching out and brushing his fingertips against hers.

The pull is automatic. Suddenly he’s not there in one of Fury’s hideouts anymore. No, now he is somewhere else entirely, watching scenes from someone else’s life. At least it feels like someone else’s life.

~~~

_They’d trained for so long and worked so hard. Now it was his job to take them out, test their abilities in the field. His job last week with the brother hadn’t gone too smoothly. The quick one wanting to rush in and rush out and not focus on the details nearly screwed up the whole thing. Once he’d gotten his hands on the young man he’d grasped his throat and lifted him high enough in the air that it didn’t matter how fast his feet could move, they’d be of no use to him now. Casting him aside he swore in Russian that the next time they had a mission briefing he suggested paying attention._

_Today though had been different. He’d gone out with the girl, no, the woman. She’d fit in seamlessly with his operation. Where he was rough and demanding she was subtle, operating with a certain finesse that complimented him well and helped secure the goal of their mission._

_Back at the base he’d been on his way out when he’d randomly decided to compliment her on a job well done. She’d done nothing but frowned back at him, her lip stuck out in a pout that didn’t suit her at all._

_“You’re not pleased?” He’d asked in her native language, questioning look on his face._

_Blinking her eyes she just shrugged in response as she moved to walk by him, coming to a halt when his hand grasped her wrist tightly. Being this close to her was something he’d found he enjoyed, especially during their training and if he was right she enjoyed it too._

_“They will cease my training then, correct Soldier?” She asked, her eyes looking anywhere but at him._

_He could sense her increased heart rate, the uneven tempo of her breathing. It matched his own._

_“Perhaps not.” He spoke lowly, his grip loosening as his fingers slid down to intertwine with hers. Green met blue in that instant and the balance shifted._

~~~

“James.” Wanda whispered back in the room of the house they were hiding in.

“We-“ “We knew each other.” He breathed out.

Glancing down between them both Wanda couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her or him the look of wonder that crossed his face. Raising their connected hands, hers fingers cradled delicately between his, both came to an understanding.

“I think it was something more…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell.  
> It might be where they’d been and it might be where they were.  
> But they were there together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. It has been a really, really, really, really, really long time multiplied by infinity. I'm so sorry. I really have no good reason except maybe life as a mom and some serious writer's block. I'm still not happy 100% happy with how this turned out, but I'm thinking that I might leave it open to come back to off and on. Maybe add in pieces and chunks of memories as they move on from this point. 
> 
> I'm terribly sorry if that disappoints anyone. That is NEVER what I want to do. I hope you enjoy and please feel free to comment. 
> 
> Thank you,  
> lilleybelle

Hell.

That’s where they’d been.

The funny thing, which actually wasn’t so funny, was that they’d been right here on Earth the entire time. The fight against Thanos was over, not brought without any shortage of sacrifice and oh how they felt the losses that they’d taken.

Hell.

That’s where they still were.

The pain, the brokenness, the long days and even longer nights. She’d lived through this hell before, he had too. Now they supposed they’d live it together.

“I remember the first time we-“ She begins, voice halting, afraid to go any further. The warm Wakandan night painting their warm skin with small drops of moisture.

The war may be over, but neither of them have found a way to go home yet.

Home-they both think is now a relative term.

Her eyes dart in his direction. He stands, hunched over the rail of a balcony only feet from where she’s curled into the soft cushions of the lounger.

His eyes don’t meet hers but she knows he feels the heat of her gaze just like he felt it all those years ago.

“So do I.” He finally breathes, eyes flicking over to meet hers. She sees his fingers grip the railing, his knuckles turning white, she hears the exhale he makes. She briefly remembers what fingers felt like on her, the way his breath would hit her sweat slicked skin.

“Don’t Wanda.” He says at first, a simple statement that’s really a question.

She can’t help it though. These last few months begin in such close proximity to him has undone her. The more time they spend together whether it be in battle or not, the stronger the connection builds. She thinks she’s done a good job of keeping herself in check-until now that is.

The images and feelings flash brighter-him under her, his large hands, one warm and soft the other cold and unyielding grasping her hips, holding her firmly as he rises to meet her.

Wanda doesn’t know if the air rushes out past her lips or his. Its pretty hard to tell when they’re both so wrapped up in what’s passing through their minds.

Another one follows. This time she’s laid out before him, his tongue tracing patterns across her skin, his teeth nipping her pelvic bone before her hands are in his hair and she’s-

“Wanda-“ He pleads, red fading from his blue irises, just as hers return to their natural green.

She watches him, now standing, one hand still attached to the rail, grounding him in a way that she knows he needs right now. She needs it too, but she’ll only accept it from him. She’s made up her mind.

“James.” She begins again, rising to her feet.

He glances a look at her, cursing himself the minute he does. Ever since he’s known her he’s always thought she had this ethereal quality to her. He supposes that’s a logical thought. He doesn’t know too many other women that possess and harness the type of power she does. Even as he watches her move across the stone of the balcony they’re on he can’t help but think it’s beautiful, balanced, delicate.

Looking away before she reaches him he swallows, resolves himself to fight this. She doesn’t need this. She doesn’t need him. Turning back, he finds her before him, a breath away until suddenly she’s not. There are no breaths between them now. Not as her lips descend upon his, the kiss tentative even though he’s sure there’s nothing uncertain about her feelings. It’s all for him, the caution, the eggshells, the baby steps as Steve had put it.

She pulls back, that plump bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she searches him, reads him as best she can without her power which is still pretty damn close to if she did fire her scarlet up.

“Why won’t you let me in? Why are you still fighting?” She asks, her voice is soft even though her accent is strong. He loves her accent-LOVES it.

“What we just came through-“ he starts then stops, his nerve wavering.

He feels her fingers tangle with his own and he’s suddenly the bravest man in the world again. The small knowing smile is all he needs to see to know she understands how much that little gesture means to him as he gathers his wits again to continue.

“What we just went through Wanda, was bad. We lost our friends, people we cared about, people we loved.”

She moves back into his space her hands gently cupping his face. The rough texture against the pads of her fingers sending shivers through her.

“Exactly. Why risk losing another?” She asks him, her thumb now stroking his cheek.

He doesn’t know when his hands found her waist or when they splayed across her back. What he does know is that she’s right. Losing this, losing her again is not an option.

Hell.

It might be where they’d been and it might be where they were.

But they were there together.


End file.
